over the pond.

I promised myself I wouldn't do a post until I had photos that would do justice to the beautiful campus I am lucky enough to live and study at this year, but then I realised I really did need to do an update, so here are two iphone photos that show just a glimpse of how gorgeous Lehigh is. As soon as we got out of the car and wandered onto the campus, I knew that I had made completely the right decision. Any doubts about living in a sleepy town in Pennsylvania disappeared instantly. I know that is the kind of thing people say for effect, but I really mean it. The whole site is stunning; it's green and sloping and brilliant. After I have explored properly, I will subject you to a long, love-struck post filled with a million photos of the university, but for now I will just say that it is more beautiful than I could ever have realised from photos.

As much as I love the university, these past few days have also been incredibly hard. As an international student, I arrived before anyone else and there are only four or five other people in my whole building which means that when I'm not busy up on campus attending the international events, I am pretty much alone. And the problem with international events is that people don't see me as a "proper" international as I speak English. The other exchange students met the day before I arrived and have formed a social group already and whilst they are nice to me, I'm clearly not a part of the group. I don't mind this that much as none of them actually live anywhere near me on campus and I am hoping to make friends closer to my apartment, but it would have been nice to have felt included.

I am slowly learning the lay of the land here, I know where the supermarket and drugstore are, I know the quickest route through campus and the buildings where my classes are going to be held. I know I have made the right decision, I was grateful that when I arrived I had some space to clear my head, but now I am more than ready to meet some other students.

Today is the official move-in day, so hopefully I will get to meet my roommate and the rest of my corridor.

I already feel like this is a home and not a holiday, but I just really hope I can make some friends. Otherwise its going to be a lonely year.

I want to be honest with my blog, I want to be able to look back in ten months time and see how I felt at the beginning. I know its not the post that people will read and be excited by, I know its not the wholly positive post that people perhaps expect, but it is the truth. And I want this space to be truthful. And I know that it will get better. I know that I will not always be alone and I will not always feel left out. I had a very similar experience at Kent, whereby the first weekend I practically shut myself in my room and was terrified that I was never going to make friends. But I did. And its encouraging to have the love and support of everyone back at Kent, people who once didn't know me but now do and are now some of my closest friends.

With my anxiety, I have a tendency to think that once I mess up a first impression that no one is ever going to like me ever again, that if I'm quiet and reserved or don't smile enough or talk too much, that the people I encounter are going to shun me. But Adam was there that first weekend where I didn't talk enough or smile enough, and he still wanted to be my friend. These are the things I need to hold onto. The more anxious I am, the worse I come off in social situations; I need to be relaxed. I have made friends before and I will make friends again.